Winthrop Congregational Church, United Church of Christ
No matter who you are. No matter where you are on life's journey. You are welcome here.
 Matthew 10:40-42 Rewards (New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition) “Whoever welcomes you welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. Whoever welcomes a prophet in the name of a prophet will receive a prophet’s reward, and whoever welcomes a righteous person in the name of a righteous person will receive the reward of the righteous, and whoever gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones in the name of a disciple—truly I tell you, none of these will lose their reward.” I’ve been following this author named Priya Parker for a while. Her training is in conflict resolution and mediation. Through that work, she came to understand that part of dealing with conflict and hard discussions is being attentive to developing good relationships. Part of building relationships will also include hosting gatherings. She talks about this part of her work as helping “demystify how anyone can create meaningful, necessary gatherings for their people.” She wants to help people learn to what she calls “an artful gatherer.” This is “someone who is able to create meaning and connection in groups without everyone needing to be the same.” She encourages people to develop skills that allow them to craft a good gathering through thinking about why they are choosing to gather, setting expectations for the gathering, and creating moments to connect in ways that reflect the purpose of the gathering.
On her social media, she shares examples of all kinds of different gatherings that she thinks are effective. She’s shared a great story about a guy who meets a bunch of his buddies at a bar on Friday nights and makes a list of potential discussion topics. On the list she shared, he’d come up with the following prompts:
Parker also talks about magical questions: questions everyone is interested in answering, and everyone is interested in hearing each other’s answers. The foundational assumption in these questions is that our differences don’t prevent us from being in relationship. Sharing our differences actually builds intimacy. She recently shared some questions to create connection across cultural difference that included:
Even with the limitations, there is a worthwhile foundation of kind curiosity here. It is good to hear how each other celebrates. It is good to get a sense of how a place may shape daily behaviors you don’t even think about. And, it is good to give people an opportunity to speak of a time when they’ve been cared for in a way they might not have expected. Today’s reading comes from a portion of Matthew that J. Andrew Overman describes in his notes on this Gospel as Jesus’ “sending out and instruction about mission.” I like to think of it as him teaching his disciples to be both guest and host. He is empowering them to heal and teach but also asking them to put themselves in the place of building relationships of utter trust in those to whom they are preaching. They aren’t taking anything with them but the clothes on their back and the Holy Spirit. In his commentary on this text, Cleophus LaRue points out that when “welcome” is mentioned here, Jesus is talking in very practical terms. He means that they will rely on the people listening to them for food and shelter. Jesus recognized that not everyone would listen, so he gave the disciples what he calls a “little ritual” to help them leave a place where they were unable to build a relationship. “If anyone does not welcome you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet as you leave that house or town.” He also assumes that they will be successful in building relationship, healing, and teaching. LaRue describes today’s reading as the “pep talk” to encourage them in doing the vital gathering work he’s sending them out to do. LaRue describes Jesus as giving the disciples a function akin to that of an ambassador. If you welcome an ambassador, you welcome the one who sent them. Even the simple offer of a cool glass of water is a powerful gift if given faithfully. So, the disciples should be as ready to be hosted as they are to heal. The reciprocal nature of this work is the point because the relationship build is the point. I read something in another commentary that I found interesting. Do you remember how I said that there are some limitations in the questions Parker offered to build connections across cultures? A scholar named Pablo Jiménez points out some similar limitations in Jesus’ instructions in chapter 10. Earlier in the chapter, before our reading, Jesus told his disciples not to go among Gentiles or Samaritans to share the good news. This seems like a narrow view of his own mission of healing and grace. It is interesting that Jesus will find this narrow mission challenged just a few chapters later. In chapter 15, Jesus encounters a Gentile, a Canaanite woman, who challenges the limits he’s placed on his own willingness to build relationships beyond his cultural and religious community. This woman, who is unnamed, is not someone who Jesus approaches. She approaches him. She desperately needs his help because her daughter is unwell. It is interesting that while we, the reader, know little about her beyond her ethnicity, we can see clearly that she is faithful. She has heard what Jesus can do and believes. You’d think this would be the kind of person he’d want to talk to! But, she’s not, because she’s not Jewish. He rudely refuses her: “it’s not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.” She is undeterred by being called a dog. I should note that another thing Priya Parker helps people do is have hard conversations about important things. I think she’d be cheering this woman on. This kind of conflict is a vital part of relationship building, and it’s important to say hard truths with moral clarity. The unnamed woman quickly and wisely retorts, “Yes, Lord, even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’ tables.” While one must be willing to say hard truths, one must also be willing to hear hard truths. Thank goodness Jesus is! He says to her, “Woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish!” Scripture tells us that her daughter was healed instantly. Jiménez points out in his commentary that Jesus doesn’t stop expanding his mission with this one Canaanite one. By Matthew 28, Jesus is telling his disciples to “go and make disciples of all nations.” Maybe this was the goal all along. Or, maybe Jesus learned something by being welcomed and affirmed by this woman who was from a different background than him? We are told their encounter changed her and her daughter’s life. I think it changed Jesus’, too. Think back to the first time you came to this church. What are some things that you remember about that day? Now, think about the second time you came to this church? What is something that happened in that first visit that made you or your family want to come back? On my first visit, initially, I couldn’t find the driveway behind the big tree, but I kept looking because I needed a job. Then, I met Mike Burns and Dana Hall, who asked thoughtful questions and let me ring the bell. I went on to meet with the whole search team that first day. I came back because the search committee members were thoughtful, kind, and playful. And, I liked ringing the bell. Why did you come back and why have you stayed? As I head into a month of sabbatical, a cup of water you all have offered to sustain me, I hope we can keep thinking about what welcome really means. Sometimes it is very practical (food, shelter). Sometimes it is emotional, like being willing to listen, ask questions, and change our minds when rightfully challenged. As a church, we are both guest and host, invited in by the Spirit, and sent for with the Spirit. Let us keep an ear out for the ones, like the Canaanite woman, who invite us to have a bigger understanding of the healing of Christ. And let us keep practicing gathering with great care. Resources consulted while writing this sermon: Priya Parker:
Cleophus LaRue: https://www.workingpreacher.org/commentaries/revised-common-lectionary/ordinary-13/commentary-on-matthew-1040-42-6 Pablo Jiménez's notes on Proper 8 in Preaching God's Transforming Justice: A Lectionary Commentary, Year A featuring 22 New Holy Days for Justice (Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 2013)
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AuthorPastor Chrissy is a native of East Tennessee. She and her wife moved to Maine from Illinois. She is a graduate of the Divinity School at Wake Forest University and Chicago Theological Seminary. Archives
June 2026
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